Never have I ever
by TheRomanticNerd
Summary: Team 7 gets drunk while celebrating and Sasuke and Naruto decide to play the drinking game Never have I ever. Secrets revealed, alcohol induced mushiness and, of course, censored boy on boy smut follows. FOR ASUKA KURERU & SASUNARU DAY


Where I come from, Santa gives presents (chocolate and small gifts) to children if they clean their boots and put it under a window (the presents go into the boots). It all happens on the 6th of December. Just thought you'd find it interesting... :P (small significance in the story)

**Never have I ever Game:** A person in the circle tells a sentence beginning with "Never have I ever". The people who are sitting in the circle have to have a gulp of their drink if the sentence is not true for them, and don't have to do anything if it's true. For example: When Naruto says "Never have I ever had family" then Naruto doesn't drink, but Sasuke does. In the version I have played with my friends you can only say things that are true about you, you can't lie, but I wrote this before I was introduced to this rule, so... :D)

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I know they probably don't have things like washing machines. But it's just something I wanted to write for ages. xD

**Never have I ever...  
**(fan fiction by NekoKriszty)  
**DEDICATED TO ASUKA KURERU ASKERIAN, for being awesome, and because without Best Laid Plans, this would have never been written **

He knew he had drunk too much – for the first time in his life, he felt lightheaded, and the legs of the table in front of him were swimming for some unknown reason. He also felt like telling Sakura how beautiful her breasts were.

Sadly, in his drunken stupor, he did tell her. That was the reason for his current residence under the table, with a huge handprint on his cheek.

He saw one of Sakura-chan's delicate legs travel up between an other pair of male legs, and felt angry. That bastard! Then, when he saw the legs stiffen (after some time, which was probably needed for the other boy to realize what was happening) and Sakura's leg falling at a very fast rate, he felt even angrier. How dare he resist Sakura-chan!

Naruto groaned, and tried to get up. At first, he failed as his arm slipped form underneath him. On the second time, however, he managed to get up, and climb back on his chair. He looked at Sakura-chan; her hair was messier than usual (meaning REALLY messy, considering the fact that when he saw her, she was usually on a mission, fighting bad guys) and her cheeks were flushed. He realized that although her eyes were open, she couldn't really see what was in front of her. She kept laying her head on her arms on the table and lifting them, looking for something to drink, but unable to locate the sake bottle – that was under the table, at Sasuke's leg – kept laying it back.

Sasuke looked slightly better than she did. He was staring in his glass of sake in is hand, and kept mumbling inaudibly. Naruto saw him lifting the glass, drinking the leftover sake, and smashing the glass back on the table, shouting something about the death of a certain bastard. Sakura jumped at his voice, and lifting her head off the table, she began protesting loudly against Sasuke's sudden actions, and then – after laying her head on the tale once more - getting in a long rant about how it saddened her that Sasuke-kun didn't want her. Naruto knew that Sasuke didn't hear a single word of what was said.

Naruto sighed, realizing that he was the most sober of the trio; and how he had trouble with standing up from under the table, that was a bad thing. That son of a bitch shopkeeper; he must have slipped something in the bottle he had purchased from him some days before. He should have been suspicious – the sake was too cheap!

Of course, silently, he was cursing himself for his ignorance, but being who he was, he couldn't stand criticism from anyone – especially a rival.

"Naruto, you total moron… What the hell did you give us, pure alcohol? My balance is so off I couldn't hit a tree from mere 100 feet…"

"Shut up, bastard! It's your fault for being an asshole and not bringing anything to drink!"

"I brought the bentos, remember?"

Naruto thought about it for a minute. Now that he forced his sluggish mind to remember, they had agreed on who would buy what, and he volunteered to get the alcohol… Shit…

"Well, you could have dragged your ass off of that high horse and done the donkey work yourself just this once – but no, you had to bring some stupid bento… Are you even listening to me? Sakura-chan, Sasuke's a jerk as usual, please tell him to stop… Sakura-chaan…! Sakura-chan…?"

Sakura didn't answer, her head was lying on the table, and quiet snores could be heard. Naruto slowly got up, and went to see if she was okay, but she had simply gone to sleep.

Oh, great. Now I'm alone with the asshole.

Naruto gently put Sakura's left arm around his shoulders, and lift her up to take her to the only available sleeping-place in the room. His bed.

They had decided to have the party – celebration of the 10th anniversary of passing Kakashi's bell-test – at his house simply because the other two ninja's houses were unavailable. Although Sakura's parents couldn't have disturbed them, since they were out of town for a couple of days, it was impolite for two boys to get drunk in a young lady's room – even if this young lady could easily punch them through a building –, and Sasuke never let anyone in the Uchiha district. In the end, they decided that the little apartment involving only one living room and a bathroom was more than enough for the three of them, and divided the chores among themselves: Sasuke bought the bento and Naruto bought the sake. Sakura would bring the decoration – some flowers from Ino's – and a bag of cookies.

After laying the unconscious girl down and putting a blanket on her, Naruto turned around to decide what to do about the mumbling Uchiha. Sasuke suddenly looked up, and stared in his eyes. Naruto, never declining a challenge, stared back, though his vision was swimming a bit, and he saw that Sasuke's eyes were unfocused, too.

"I have nowhere for you to stay, teme, and I don't want to sleep in the same room as Sakura-chan – in the morning she'd beat the hell out of me for being a pervert." A hiccup interrupted him. "Lucky her parents are out of town; at least she won't get into trouble for not going home. Now, the only problem left: where are we gonna sleep?"

Sasuke looked at him, seemingly not understanding what he was saying, but then declaring rather loudly: "We're going to my place, moron. C'mon, let's go. I wanna sleep."

Naruto couldn't believe what he had heard. A huge smirk ran across his face. _Sasuke must be more drunk that I had thought he was to let anyone in his house! But I'm no fool to pass my only chance to finally see his room!_

Without delay, he went to fetch his keys. After collecting them, he realized that it was no good – Sakura-chan would be locked in the apartment! He then decided to leave a note to her, explaining where they were, and leaving the keys on the note. He would just shut the door closed, and then use a hairpin to lock the door. Ah, the wonderful things a child can learn while pulling pranks on a whole village! He just hoped he was sober enough to do it right.

After composing the short memo, he placed it next to Sasuke on the table and laid the keys on it. He then turned to the raven, who was obviously once again lost in Lala-Land. Grinning as widely as he would have had he heard the news that the Santa or whoever was murdered brutally for never bringing him any presents as a child, no matter how many hours he worked on cleaning his sandals, Naruto slapped Sasuke on the back of his head. If possible, his grin grew even bigger at the sight of the furious Uchiha.

"C'mon, bastard, we're going to your place"

"Shut up, idiot"

Sasuke stood up, but after a step it was clear that he was unable to move straightforward. Naruto moved to place one of his arms around his shoulder, but Sasuke pushed the blonde away.

"I don't need your help, dead last… I never needed it in the first place"

Naruto knew it was the alcohol that was talking, not Sasuke, and he knew he was acting like a _girl_, but that sentence had stabbed deep. He let go of Sasuke's hand, and turned around wordlessly, opening the door wide for the other boy to go out. Sasuke, supported by the wall, stumbled out, and Naruto closed the door after them, and managed to close the apartment door in less then two minutes. After finishing, Naruto walked past Sasuke, not even looking at him.

"Naruto, stop. I'm sorry."

Naruto couldn't have been more surprised if Sasuke just told him he was in love with him. Did Sasuke just say... He was sorry?

"It's all his fault. Itachi's. Everything that I am is because of him… He ruined me, changed my life in a way I never thought…" The rest of the speech was mumbled, not audibly.

Naruto sighed, and forced the aching in his chest to stop; Sasuke didn't mean what he had said. And besides, since when did he care what that stupid ass said? He went back to the other boy, and helped him up, not hearing further protest. Together, they stumbled down the stairs, and into the chilly night air.

The sudden cold seemed to somewhat detoxicate both; Naruto's vision was clear, and Sasuke seemed capable of walking on his own. Naruto, however, didn't want to take chances, and had an iron grip on the Uchiha's wrist.

After some minutes of walking in silence, Naruto saw the first fan on a wall. This meant they were already in the Uchiha district. He slowed down a bit.

"Sasuke… Where do you live?"

He didn't get a reply immediately, just kept staring at the pavement of the street. Just when Naruto wanted to ask again, he whispered, Naruto almost missing it:

"Up ahead; the door facing the fan with a crack on it"

Naruto saw the fan, and looked at the house against it. His jaw fell; the house was HUGE! He was silently fuming; damn the bastard and his egoistic habits; they could have had a huge party at this place, with music and all, and could have slept in different rooms!

Wanting to tell all this to Sasuke, Naruto turned his head towards the other male, but the words froze in his throat. He blinked; the sight that met his eyes was too surreal to be true.

He saw tears in Sasuke's eyes.

Naruto was so dumbstruck he didn't know what to say. The raven was staring at the crack in the wall, and the tears traveled down his cheeks, heading towards his jaw.

"He… Itachi killed everyone the day after he made that crack in the wall…" Sasuke hiccupped. Naruto looked at the crack surprised – such an insignificant thing, and it made Sasuke, Uchiha I'm Devoid Of Emotions As I Plan To Kill My Brother Sasuke… Cry.

Naruto, deciding that if he had to watch his best friend act out of character so much for a minute longer, he would plain old freak out, stepped closer to the door – dragging Sasuke with him –, and opened it. The two men stepped inside, mumbled the usual "Tadaima", despite no one ever waiting for either of them, and took off their sandals.

Sasuke seemed to get his act together; he straightened, wiped the tears from his eyes, and stepped towards the door on the right.

"This way"

Naruto was lead to an outside hall and couldn't help but admire the large garden. So much space to practice…! No wander Sasuke's kunai aim used to best the best during their academy years… Sasuke stopped in front of one of the doors, and stepped inside; Naruto followed wordlessly, admiring the spacious room. It was a bit dusty, and he could see some plants desperately needing watering. He concluded that he kept his apartment in a better condition than Sasuke kept his house – however, Sasuke had at least twenty times the space to keep clean. Swallowing his jealousy, he turned towards the talking Sasuke.

"This will be your room, my one is the next one. Would you like something?"

Sasuke suddenly seemed to be completely sober, and his eyes weren't sleepy a bit. He must have realized just how weird that stunt had been, Naruto concluded, and decided not to humiliate himself any further. Thank God.

"I don't feel like sleeping. Wanna grab something from the fridge?" Had Naruto not known Sasuke, he would have judged from his facial expression that he had just said the stupidest thing in the world. But Naruto was one of the rare few who knew Sasuke, and even though his face twisted into an annoyed snarl, the lack of snort or sigh told Naruto Sasuke's answer was something like 'Sounds like a plan'.

ALthough, now that he thought about it, Naruto wasn't sure anymore. If the Uchiha suddenly was capable of crying, then he might as well throw all his knowledge of him in the trash for the period he was under the effects of alcohol…

While having thoughts like that, he was lead to the kitchen. Naruto sat down at the table; Sasuke took two cans from the refrigerator, and tossed one of them at Naruto. Blonde eyebrows disappeared under blonde hair – Sasuke was full of surprises that evening.

"You have beer at your home?"

Sasuke threw him a degrading look. "Of course I do, dobe. Who doesn't?"

Naruto felt his cheeks redden with anger, but he just opened his can of beer with no comment.

Sasuke sat next to him, and they drank their beverages in silence. Naruto, not liking it, glanced at Sasuke, and decided to do what he always did.

"I was just surprised; you seemed to be too perfect to have something like beer at your home."

"Humph. Shows how little any of you know about me"

"Oh, really? I have a proposal, bastard. A game. It's called Never have I ever. You know it?"

Sasuke snorted. "Who do you think I am, Uzumaki? Bring it on; when I'm through with you, you'll wish you never challenged me"

"OH YEAH? I'LL SHOW YOU, BASTARD! C'MON, SHOW ME WHAT YOU'VE GOT!"

And so Sasuke began.

"Never have I ever blown up the Academy's bathroom"

Naruto snorted, saying it was a stupid statement, but drank.

"Never have I ever rejected a cute girl's advance"

Sasuke – the nerve! –, gulped down not just a mouthful of beer, but about half the can... The bastard! He smirked while going to get some more cans.

"Never have I ever gotten a single love letter"

Sasuke kept on his smirk, and finished his other half can of beer, while Naruto's face grew very red.

"Never have I ever been bitten by the enemy in the middle of a fight"

Naruto watched Sasuke's smirk disappear, and a dark aura form around him as he drank a little from his new can of beer.

"Never have I ever been looked down upon by anyone"

Naruto's hands were shaking as he drank, and then angrily threw his can in a corner. When did he drink the whole thing…?

"Never have I ever turned against my friends for power"

It wasn't exactly fair and Naruto knew it – Sasuke was ashamed of his actions when he tried to flee with the Sand Four – but he felt Sasuke's earlier statement even lower. Sasuke drank silently. Naruto knew that what was coming would be nasty.

"Never have I ever failed to notice when a girl was attracted to me"

That caught Naruto by surprise. Why would Sasuke say something like that? Did he want to tell him he had had some kind of crazy love affair?

He saw Sasuke smirk. "C'mon, Naruto. Drink"

"What are you talking about, bastard? No girl ever li…" He bit his lips to stop the words from coming out, but he knew he had already said too much.

"I said drink, dobe"

"What the hell are you talking about, bastard?"

Sasuke sighed. "What I'm trying to tell you is that you're too much of a blind idiot to notice that there's a girl, a girl in this village, who really likes you"

Naruto just stared.

"Gah, dumbass. Forget it"

Naruto huffled. He didn't want to restart the previous duel, since it seemed Sasuke would be victorious. Before he could say anything else, Sasuke decided to take his turn again.

"Never have I ever been betrayed by someone I trusted"

It seemed that Sasuke was drunk enough again to open up. Naruto, feeling the effect of the beer as well, didn't mind at all. What a great opportunity to get to know more about the bastard, and bully him later with the information!

Sasuke drank half the can. Naruto drank the whole can. When Sasuke looked at him darkly, Naruto snorted.

"Don't think too much of yourself, bastard. I have been betrayed plenty of times; just to mention a name you also know: Mizuki-sensei from the Academy… He tricked me into stealing the scroll of seals from the Hokage Tower, although that was the night when I made genin, and when I was told about the bastard fox…" Ah, damnit! It seemed he couldn't hold his big fat… To escape from Sasuke's question that would obviously come, he quickly made his statement.

"Never have I ever had any of my birthdays celebrated"

Sasuke drank some, and was somewhat dismayed to see the blond watch him emotionlessly. Why wasn't he drinking…? It couldn't be…

"You have got to be kidding me. Not a single birthday…?"

Naruto smiled sadly. "Well, when he was alive, Sandaime-jiijii always came by with Iruka, and talked to me, but I never actually celebrated with anyone my age or got any presents…"

Sasuke felt guilty. He remembered the presents he always got from Sakura (and various other girls) on his birthday, and he remembered how he used to celebrate with his family. He also seemed to recall a very jealous, but if he thought about it, very sad Naruto hiding in the shadows as the most popular member of their team got his presents from his peers.

"Never have I ever doubted myself that I would once reach my goal"

Naruto seemed to lighten up instantly, and gulp his whole remaining can down happily. Sasuke also drank, content with his smart statement.

"Never have I ever liked a girl"

Naruto watched Sasuke while drinking, and smirked when Sasuke also took a gulp.

"My mother was a girl"

Wanting to shout that Sasuke had cheated, but realizing that the raven had gone into angst mode again, Naruto decided to wait for the upcoming sentence.

"Never have I ever felt frustrated because of lack of appreciation"

Naruto's cheeks felt hot and he felt anger bolt through him, certain that the Uchiha made this statement to mock him – until he saw Sasuke's desperate attempt to swallow as much beer as possible in the shortest time. He stared at the other boy – what the hell? Sasuke, not acknowledged? Was that even possible?

A long silence followed, Naruto stubbornly not saying anything until Sasuke explained. He began talking after a long silence, not looking up or giving any sign that he acknowledged the other boy listening.

"My father acknowledged my successes only once – to him, I was always the son who never did as well as his older brother." His eyes turned somewhat unfocused after that sentence, and Naruto could tell he was remembering. "Although my mother told me he just had no other choice than to always look at Nii-san, he still only acknowledged my work once…"

Naruto was very curious what could have he done that one time, but didn't want Sasuke to close up on him. He drank some, and then thought about what to say. He felt it was his turn to tell a secret.

"Never have I ever lost control over my inner demon when my brother sacrificed himself for me"

SHIT! Where had that come from? He wanted to tell a secret, but not his most hidden one!

He silently finished his beer, feeling his cheeks grow hotter. He could feel Sasuke's eyes on himself, but he didn't dare to look back. He didn't feel ready to tell him of the Kyuubi yet. It was enough that the bastard knew that he still considered him a brother. Or did he…?

"I was talking about you, you know... I have been an orphan with no relatives since the day I was born…"

Naruto felt extremely uncomfortable.

"And about that inner demon thing?" Sasuke moved closer. "What's you secret? What was that insane power of yours against Orochimaru in the Forest of Death, against Sabaku no Gaara when the Sound and the Sand invaded Konoha, when you came to get me at the Valley of the End… What's your secret, Uzumaki Naruto?"

Naruto looked away. He couldn't tell him… He knew that Sasuke wouldn't hate him, he knew he was smarter than to judge others by something they had no influence over. He knew it was okay to tell Sasuke – but he was so damn paranoid! Being ignored, hated, looked down upon for his whole childhood because of this secret, he still dreaded to tell anyone.

But… But this was Sasuke. His teammate, his best friends, his brother. The person who had just told – what Naruto guessed – one of his most kept secrets.

And so Naruto talked.

"Never have I ever been used as a vessel" he drank. "Never have I ever had a powerful Nine-Tailed Demon sealed inside my body." He looked anywhere but at Sasuke. "Never have I ever been kept in the dark for twelve long years about the reason for the villagers' hatred towards me" His can emptied; he reached for another one. "Never have I ever been entrusted to carry this burden by the person I admire the most " he opened the new can and drank. "Never have I ever been told all of it while being used in a plan to steal jutsus from my home village" This new can seemed to empty quickly.

"Never have I ever been called a jinchuuriki; a human sacrifice." He finished the can, and looked at the table. There. Somehow, he felt much better now, that he told Sasuke about all of this – so why am I still not looking at him?

"Never have I ever learnt the most about myself from my brother"

Naruto saw Sasuke's can move towards his mouth. All he desperately wanted to do was to end this stupid game.

"I was referring to you, dobe. Itachi stopped being my brother in my heart the day he killed everyone"

Naruto finally looked up. Sasuke's face displayed no emotion as he threw his empty can on the floor. Naruto, getting over his shock, also finished his last can.

"I say a tie, ne, Sasuke?"

The other boy just 'hn'ed and stood up to get rid of the rest of the beer.

"Say, where's the bathroom? After all the sake and the beer, I really have to go…"

Had Naruto been less drunk, he would have noticed how uncertain the Uchiha's legs were. He finished packing the beer back to their place, and told Naruto to follow him.

After showing Naruto the bathroom, he decided to wait for his friend outside the room, and go in after him. When an obviously very happy Naruto came out, he quickly made his way inside, telling the younger man to wait for his so he wouldn't get lost. Naruto, being sure he wouldn't find his room without help, didn't answer.

Standing there, bored out of his mind, Naruto started examining the painting on the wall across the bathroom. It was a very old calendar, showing a lake and pink birds and beautiful flowers. There was also a woman in the picture, with a fan in her hand, and she seemed to be dancing.

As Naruto moved to inspect the painting from closer, the bathroom door opened, and he walked right into Sasuke, both falling to the ground.

Naruto landed softly on top of Sasuke, not really feeling pain anywhere except for his hipbone where it collided with the other boy's hipbone – but Sasuke felt pain alright. His hipbone was hurting his like hell, and his spine also stung – damn the dobe and his weight!

"Aggh! Sorry Sasuke!" Naruto was getting off of him, but then fell back again.

"Just get off already!"

"Well, I would if you let go of me!"

...

"What are you talking about?" No sooner did he finish the sentence than he realized: he did have his hands around Naruto's waist. Pushing their stomachs, their hips, their thighs and groins together.

_Why would I do something like this? Everything I do is because of a reason. What could be my reason for something like this?_

After thinking for a minute, not paying attention to the wriggling and whining male on top of him, he found his answer.

Because he enjoyed the closeness of another body; more specifically, the closeness of Naruto's body.

And if he found this enjoyable, how would feel after…?

And with that reasoning, he lifted his head, and stuck his lips to the spot on Naruto's skin where his neck ended and his jaw began. Deciding that he liked the feeling, he began sucking, licking, biting, tasting.

Naruto was lost for words. What was Sasuke…? Was he out of his mind? THAT would leave a MARK! That's it; he would never let Sasuke drink again!

He forced thoughts like those to emerge from his brain in a desperate attempt to stop his body obeying his drunk and lust-filled mind and returning Sasuke's advance.

Until Sasuke decided to start rubbing his groin against Naruto's one.

_-cut for mature content, full version can be found on y!gallery, under username NekoKriszty__-_

Why the HELL were they hammering so loudly on his wall? Couldn't those morons keep it quiet, he was trying to sleep here, and all that hammering was giving him one hell of a headache...

And who asked them to hammer, anyway?

Sasuke groaned, and thought for a minute.

If there were people hammering on his wall, that meant someone was doing it for their own satisfaction, since he had never ordered anyone to hammer on his wall. He would be able to fix any problem by himself.

Could it be an attack?

Eyes snapped open, got hit by the light coming from the window, were shut again, and Sasuke promptly fell off the bed with a groan.

"Wazzademergency... Owwwww, my head..."

The voice was not doing any good to Sasuke's headache, not to mention his nerves. Carefully opening one eye, he tried looking at the figure on his bed. As his pupils battled the light, the man - _it_ is _Naruto _- suddenly sat up, face a greenish shade, and got off the bed. One step, and the blonde head disappeared behind the bed again.

Then the sounds of vomiting hit his ear.

Sasuke decided that some more sleep would do the best for them both. With that conviction, he proptly fell back to sleep.

The next time he woke up, he found that he was able to move more freely, but his headache hadn't lessened. As he got up to get himself at least eleven glasses of water and five painkillers, he took in the other man on his floor.

And he stared, eyes gradually growing until they were the size of saucers, his fists shaking, his breath coming in short pants.

Naruto was naked, covered by hickies, bites and scratch marks. He was lying in his own vomit, and Sasuke wanted to believe that was the only substance that caked his body... Only his eyes weren't cooperating with his brain. As he oberved finger-size bruises on Naruto's hips, an image invaded his mind - _rocking his hips rhytmically and sucking on his friend's neck while his hair was pulled from his skull and nonsense was shouted..._

As Sasuke finally processed what had happened a couple of hours before, he lifted his head, turned away, walked out of his room and into the nearest bathroom, and emptied the contents of his stomach in the toilet bowl.

Naruto found him some hours later still in his bathroom, still hugging the toilet bowl. The younger man sat down next to his friend, and looked seriously at him.

"Do you remember anything from last night?"

"... No"

"Me neither"

"... How about we pretend this incident never even happened. And I mean, if you ever tell anyone about this, I'm cutting your balls off"

"... Okay, if that's how you want it to be..." Naruto scratched his cheek, and coming to a decision, he smirked at Sasuke. "But, you know, we should get together for another drink sometime, I know I haven't felt this spent in a loooong-" Before he could finish his sentence, a punch flew his way and he dodged. "Fine, fine, I get it! No dates. Jeez. You'd think that once you get together with the guy, he gets less prissy... Oh, yeah, where do you hide that pole in your ass, because I can't remember finding it last night, and I know I must have tried hard..."

Sasuke would never, ever drink again.

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**Author's note: I blame the out of character behavior on the alcohol. Seriously, there is no other way Sasuke would have cried or Naruto would have huffed about something Sasuke had said, and overall, what the hell is up with all the angst and mushiness?**

**Constructive criticism encouraged! I know that the writing is bad, there is "the blond" in there and such, but I won't get mad if you point it out! Who knows, I might beta this one day and then your words could be huge help :)**


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